My future husband

  My future husband

He must be cunning!

He must be funny!

He must be willing to give me anything, including a bunny!

He must be the politest gentleman I've ever seen!

But there's one thing that's non-negotiable  

He must never eat beans 

no matter how much he yearns 

For the aftermath will leave us both in concern.

He must be the first one to apologize when we get into a fight!

( In case he’s reading this, I must warn you, I do bite.)

He must be exactly 6 foot 2 and 7 centimeters!

And god forbid he’s friends with anyone named Peter.

If his name is Mike

Him I shall fight

If his name Jack

Him I lack.

I want a future husband who will only look at me

And maybe his mom and dad  

But only if his dad is named Chad.

My future husband must not EVER bring up my pickiness

Or I another guy I will kiss.

He must have 3-inch long hair

And me, he will most care.

He must have a cute British accent

Or I will shove him in a funeral casket

He must shower me with jewelry made of real pearls.

Never mind, instead, I want a girl.

Im too shy!

 I’m too shy!

Whenever I see a person

I scream!

I just can’t understand how other people see a person and beam.

While I feel like I’m in a bad dream!

If someone spots me, I'll jump out of my skin with fright!

And after that, you’ll see me out of there on a flight!

One time I had to give a presentation

I was supposed to read it out loud with dedication

But I just ended up reading it like a still-loading robot!

The teacher even asked me if my lines, I forgot!

When I see a person, my heart skips a beat.

Not the kind of skipping you get when you see your crush,

But the type of skipping you get when your afraid so much!

When they say hello

I mutter under my breath “Oh no!”!

I have no social skills.

I don’t think I ever will.

If I ever speak in public,

I’ll faint!

Or maybe I’ll make it look like I’m bleeding with paint.

So I can go to the ER

And get away from the stage.

My parents say take a public speaking class so in my life there will be a new page

But I think I’d rather get locked in a cage!

I’m so shy.

Maybe some day I’ll be the life of a party, all day saying “ee!”

Heh, maybe in dream.

She sells sea shells by the sea shore

 My friend Sheila sells sea shells by the seashore

She won’t leave even one penny behind

One time I asked her for a bracelet that she designed

And then she ran around with a handful of sand screaming “I’m going to get it in your eye!”

Sheila’s shells look the finest, she finds them by a secret seashore she says.

But the price she sells them for, you’d think she stays looking for these shells for days!

Makes so many deals with money does Sheila,

I think people ought to start calling her “Deal-a”!

But I just think she’s a steala’!

One day I saw her at the dollar store

And in her basket lay the shells that were on sale for sixty cents

And she sells the same for seventy dollars!

“Steala’’” Now they should call her!

Seventy dollars!

I could’ve bought a Nintendo game!

I will expose her on TikTok, and make her lose all that fame!

And she should at least return all the money that came.

She’s rotten to the core!

Sheila sells sham seashells by the seashore!

She's my friend, but is she?

 Her name is Jessica, she tells me she’s my friend, but is she?

She tells me she’ll be with me until the end, but she calls me a curse word starting with “B”.

Sometimes she’ll tell me to shut up or go away

But when I say that she’ll punch me without delay

She says it’s all fun and games

But am I nothing more than a minion that she tames?

“Get me water!” “Pay for my lunch!” she screams

For some reason, the rest of her minions beam. 

I always told myself I’d never beam if someone screams

But Jessica makes it otherwise

Whenever she screams “Get me water!”

I don’t seem to bother 

Will I just become a minion of hers?

A minion like in “Despicable Me”?

She tells me that I get too full of myself

That I think I’m “Despicable”

When I’m actually predictable. 

I don’t want to fall into her trap

But then again, she promised to give me her Taylor Swift cap.

So maybe, just until I get that cap

I’ll continue being her friend.

Even though she just uses me for laughs.

Diary of an Elevator part 2

 Date: Nov 2, 2022

Dear Diary,

Sally came today… ugh. Now I have personal beef with Sally because I just wanted to help her with my first entry! I made sure NOT to put on classical music playlist 246! She clearly was mad at me for not putting her favorite song on but honestly, would you do something nice for someone who DIDN’T appreciate it when you tried to save their literal LIFE? Yeah, that’s what I thought. Sally made faces at me so I did what I bet I will still think that it was the right choice to do 10yrs from now. I crashed to the floor and let her run out. Yeah, I’m not your average elevator. I’m not gonna be bossed around! If Sally comes on board, I’m crashing down.

Anyway, Kaitlyn came after that! Usually kids like a song called Heat Waves, so I played it for her and she was so happy she danced and danced until the end of the ride! Then she said “Bye Elevator!” but the thing she said after that warmed my heart. “I love you!” She said I love you! For the first time, I am loved! This was not a good day, it’s a great day! After that, the best thing happened. Eason was replaced with the one and only… Ellie! Yes! Ellie has come! We blew kisses and jumped together for soo long! I told her about everything, about the little monsters, Eason, Kaitlyn, and Sally! I was overjoyed! “You pinky promise never to leave me again?” I said. “I promise!” She told me all the jokes she had learned for the rest of the night. I laughed so hard the manager of the building almost came! The next morning we did all the stuff we used to do, we went up together, and we went down. 

Ella The elevator

Diary of an Elevator Part 5

 Date: Saturday, November 5th

Dear Diary,

Today a girl with blonde hair blowing bubble gum came in. I tried playing some music for her but she took out her phone, plopped on some earbuds, and started jamming to her own tunes. Then I think she got a call from someone because she suddenly put her phone against her ear and said “Hey! Oh the noise? That’s just the stupid elevator music. It’s like, so cringe, like, oh my garr.”. The nerve of this woman! She called me stupid! That is the most offensive (And only) insult I’ve ever heard! Talk about rude. This is what she looked like: 

  Later that day she came. She was on her phone again. This time she was with another girl! This girl looked like a copy and paste of the brat girl. She looked like this:

She was scrolling on her phone while saying “Oh my garrr, girl, your make-up looks GORG!”. What does “Gorg” even mean? I’ve seen people say “Gorgeous” but “Gorg” seems like a short version of “Gorgeous”. The pink brat girl said, “OMG ALEXA!! BRAD JUST TEXTED ME!!”. Why was she screaming? People get texts all the time. Why would a text from some random guy named “Brad” be any special? Anyway, I guess the friend’s name is Alexa. “OMG CLAIRE!! FOR REAL?!” Shouted Alexa. What is the deal with this Brad guy? He’s a human, just like everybody else. So I guess the brat girl I saw first is named Claire. Claire shouted “EEEEK!!”. Excuse me Claire, but can you lower your voice? I’m going crash to the down if you don’t. So I did. I crashed down. Hey, it wasn’t my fault! She was making a racket! Think twice next time you shout in this elevator! Suddenly, My floor was starting to hurt. Oh well! It’s probably growing pain. It’ll be gone tomorrow. Right?

Ella The elevator

Diary of an elevator 4

 Date: Nov 4, 2022

Dear Diary,

Today I woke up feeling gloomier than ever. Ellie kept on eyeing me every chance she got. Kaitlyn came to stop by, she had a friend! I thought this would cheer me up, but it brings me down so much. Kaitlyn first started with her daily joke, but as soon as she said “elevator” her friend cut her off and said, “Why are you talking to this dumb elevator?”. Of course, Kaitlyn stood up for me and said “The elevator isn’t dumb! It’s my friend! You’re the one who's dumb!” Yes! Go, Kaitlyn! Her friend looked offended and then said “If you’re going to be dumb with the elevator, you won’t be my friend.” Kaitlyn looked down at her shoes and finally let out a small “Fine…”. Her friend grinned and said “C’mon, kick this stupid elevator with me!” She kicked me, and it hurt! Kaitlyn joined and landed a light kick but then her stupid friend said “You’re so weak! Kick harder!” Then Kaitlyn kicked me hard this time, but it wasn’t the physical pain that was hurting, in fact, that part was nothing compared to my mental pain. After they got off, I realized I had no friends now. I became mad, mad at Ellie, Emily, Kaitlyn, Kaitlyn’s friend, but mostly, I was mad at myself. While Emily was taking someone up, Ellie said “Hey!”. I ignored her, I didn’t want to get one of those ugly glares again then she said “Hey I was just pretending!  Emily is such a pick me! I'm really sorry I kept on giving you those glares.”. Oh. My. God. “You were pretending the whole time?” I shouted. “Shh! She doesn’t know yet!” Ellie said. Emily came back down and saw Ellie talking to me and said “Why are you talking to this piece of trash brat?!” Emily glared at her with the same glare that started this war between me and Emily, and then said “You’ve been using me! I thought you were my friend!” Emily looked at Ellie, stunned. “No I have not!” Emily blurted out. “I have been with you second you were sad! In return, this is what you do to me?!” Ellie looked at her as if her metal was wood. “Since when have you been there for me?! I’ve been there for you, but where were you when I needed you?” She said. Emily looked down and then looked at the wall. She continues looking at the wall, I guess it would make it less awkward for both of us. Ellie and I talked and talked, we talked almost as much as we did when we met each other after 2 months! I was so happy to have my best friend again. It was a beautiful, beautiful, day.

Ella   The Elevator